“A spiritual operation can be weakening.”
I wrote that sentence almost a year ago — probably copied from a pastor I was listening to that moment.
Last year, as New Years approached, I wrote a blog about wanting this year, 2017, to be different and changed and new. Well, I got my wish in multiple, unexpected ways.
I also wrote, in that same blog, that I needed to pray for my future self and others in this new year because who knew at that time what the future would hold.
I had a strong feeling 2017 would come with MAJOR spiritual growth and change and I was excited for it. But these multiple changes turned out to be more difficult than my excited self expected.
I’ve been rooted of so much of myself, sometimes feeling so drained.
I’ve felt weak.
I felt worried that I may never get back to how or who I was. But I’m not supposed to get back to how or who I was.
Then, I read, “a spiritual operation can be weakening.”
I felt WEAK.
All of it together left me so unsure of the future and who I’m supposed to be shaping into as I tried desperately to get it right and seek the Lord, although I fail often.
A thought has crept into my mind often this year, “If I feel so weak, am I growing how I hoped to grow?”
“A spiritual operation can be weakening,” written messily in my notebook is followed by, “because when I am weak and I have NOTHING, only in Him am I strong… when I am weak He shows Himself strong.”
If you feel weak ever, or hey maybe its just me, here’s just a reminder, that I so so needed, to CLING to Him and trust Him and seek Him.
Just because we feel weak does not mean we’re failing.
I am weak; I have to go to Him. I am weak; He is strong.
'New Year, New Me' Follow-Up
